Passion of the Flesh and of Mind
by primaryglitch
Summary: After Dakar, Char and Amuro console in each other


Amuro let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and sloughed forward in relief. Finally he had able to escape endless conversing that comes an with event like this. Amuro couldn't shake the anxiety and panic that came with battle. However, everyone else was buzzing with excitement, able to talk and flow from conversation to conversation effortlessly. Amuro, on the other hand, was not. His words felt clunky at best and he couldn't wear a mask of facetious, wearing his heart on his sleeve. You could feel his inexperience with people and politics stand out like a sore thumb around all these people who have been involved in politics their whole was never good at public functions, but this was just exhausting. Being around so many people, trying to play his role, which is so murky currently. He was no longer the ace gundam pilot, was he? He was no soldier either, but he wasn't a civilian. Amuro had left than mantle behind on side 7. He was undefined at worst in a world of ridge roles at worst, and fluid at best. After isolating himself for so long, he still wasn't use to feeling the weight of everyone's different expectations on him. Even with most of the attention centered around Char, Amuro still felt the fate of the earthsphere weigh down on him.

Did Char feel the same way, share the same troubles? How could Char handle such a burden? Now with him not carrying the mantle of the leader of the AEUG, the red comet, and Deikun's heir. Char usually seemed so unaffected, a constant in this universe, almost a force himself. But looking over at him now, he looked so human. It's as if the sudden responsible had dwarfed the man. It was so strange seeing the man who usually commanded the attention of the room look so uncomfortable.

Amuro snapped out of thought, blushing slightly realizes he was standing alone for god knows how long while the rest of the room was in a constant shifting state. He hopes no one noticed. But he did want to speak with Char. The celebration and greeting melted together, everyone seeming to say the same thing. Congratulations on the successful operations, cheering that the day was their. Amuro tried his best to swallow does his anxiety as his made his way towards char. In a chance moment then locked eyes, and it was as if only they were existed and nothing else. He worn a sober expression, but even that was a mask of his true feelings. He looked so bare and exposed, without his sunglasses. But Amuro could feel the whirlwind of emotion that Char dedicated behind his out mask. It could be simply empathy, perhaps, but Amuro knew it was more.

Naturally when Char left, Amuro followed. Amuro found himself together in a hallway alone with Char."What's the matter," Amuro questioned, not knowing how to eloquently start a conversation. Might as well get straight to the point.

"Nothing."

"Because of what you did today the AEUG and Karaba rediscover their motivation"

"That's true but in exchange i've given up my own freedom."

"I see your point" He really did; Perhaps more than ever before, Amuro empathized with Char. War had forced them both into their past and current roles."But we're trying to get the people of earth to move up to space. A task of that magnitude will require a sacrifice or two."

"So I am a human sacrifice?" Char's voice was difficult to read.

"Isn't that your family tradition?" Amuro said trying his best to keep his nervousness out of his voice. That got a small smile out of Char. They made a toast, and turned away from each other. They settled into an uncomfortable silence, neither knowing what to do next. Amuro wanted to say more, comfort char- but what could he say? He couldn't think, not here. Even with the thick walls muffling the celebration in the next room, Amuro could still feel them. So many bodies, so many minds all clamoring for attention, trying to outdo one anything. He couldn't focused. Amuro shook his head, trying to clear his mind and sighted. Amuro swallowed and spoke in a small voice "Char, can we go somewhere more private." blush spread across his face. Amuro couldn't figure out why char was flustering him so badly. He just wanted to talk.

"My room then? Would have another drink with?"char said with a slight smirk and offered up his hand to Amuro. He hesitated before taking it, it was nothing more than Char leading, nothing to get flustered over. But touching the man's skin, it felt as if he could feel char's emotions more intensely. His turmoil, it was suffocating Amuro wanted to pull away from the pressure but he felt pulled towards him. Amuro also felt something else, something more gentle and tender, just now coming to the surface.

"Amuro?" Char's concerned voice broke Amuro out of his trace, realizing he had been staring.

"S-Sorry, yes that sounds wonderful," he stuttered, Char raised his eyebrow at him but said nothing more and turned, beginning to lead Amuro. They could hear signs of celebrate as they made their way through the halls, but none of that mattered. Amuro's world fell apart until only char was left. Enter Char's makeshift room, Amuro realized how little Char had but there was signs of him, the books on the nightstands, sunglasses next to them. Amuro sat down on the bed and char when to towards the tiny nightstand producing a producing a bottle of whiskey.

"You brought near nothing with you, yet made sure to bring alcohol," Amuro laughed, and char let out a little chuckle. His shoulders were already more relaxed away from people.

"It's not mine, i got it from Hayto. A little liquid courage for before Dakar, you can't blame me for that. Might as well not let it go to waste"

"I suppose you're right," Amuro said as Char filled up their glasses. Char sat next to Amuro, handing him his glass.

"What shall we toast to?"

"The beginning of the end?" Amuro said half-jokingly, which got a chuckle out of char. They toasted and Amuro swallows and grimaced. He was never a fan of hard liquor.

"The great amuro ray, a light weight" char smirked. He was playful, mood shifted once he was alone with Amuro. Amuro smiled and pushed him on the shoulder

"Well we can't all be drinkers," Amuro teased, "and anyways look at you. The red comet, Char Aznable, going back to his room alone? After such a victory, shouldn't you be celebrating," Amuro laughed, he knew char could easily snag a partner for the time if he wanted. Char smiled, his eyes glimmering.

"I'm not alone, Char particularly whispered. There was a pause as char turned to him, "I'm with you"

This was the first time char had seen Amuro has a man. Handsome at that.

"you were never alone," Amuro was trapped in chars intensive stare. His eyes seem to search Amuro for something."something we never really left each other, did we?"

"I supposed we haven't" Amuro could feel deep emotion tucked into Char's response.

"I never stopped feeling you char. Your mind is so strong, I wondered if you were dead but I knew you weren't. But I still feel her, how could I be sure when I still feel Lalah so clearly"Tears build in Amuro's eyes, "are you are ghost char? I feel like I am, trapped in the past." Amuro pauses, finally succumbing to his heart."char," Amuro voice hicks,"don't leave" Amuro grasped at Char's hand, a sudden desperation overcoming him .He could feel wetness on his cheeks.

"I'm here" Char said reaching up to touch Amuros face. "I'm not leaving, I'm here," Char whispered, slightly forceful. Looking into his eyes, Amuro could feel the depth of Char's emotions, how much truth was behind his words. How Char would force his will into the truth as he always has. "is this okay?" Ahar questioned. How strange it was for a man usually so sure of himself to look so insecure, chars expression was completely unguarded. It dawned on Amuro that with how guarded char was, he had no idea if he was actually ever as conf. A deep protectiveness rose in Amuro, he wanted char open his heart to char, since he could never expression how he truly feels in words alone. Alongside it a possessive, he wanted to keep this char to himself. How few people have char at this authentic self? Sayla, Lalah, perhaps, but who else? Kamille knew Quattro, and Amuro himself knew Char but this-this wasn't just char. He was someone buried deeper, only beginning to show himself to Amuro. One word came to mind. Casval.

Amuro felt chars hand waver, realizing while lost in thought he had neglect chars question leaving the man fearful. Amuro quick nearly up and pushed chars hand against his cheek and nuzzled into his touch. "yes, more than just okay," Amuro nearly purred. Char looked surprised and flustered.

"I-I hadn't dared hope that…" Char trailed off.

"Char, you fool" Amuro smiled and leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. This char was his."how could I have not?" Amuro grasps char's other hand and intertwines their fingers. Looking into chars eyes, he could see how glassy they were. Amuro wanted him, he couldn't wait any longer. He bridged the same gap between them to kiss char, a sharp panic hit Amuro when their lips touched realizing he didn't know how to kiss char- at least not in the way he wanted too. Lucky char took the lead, moving his hand to cup the back of Amuro's head. Amuro was beyond nervous, he wanted to be good for char, but he easily fell into chars lead. Not unlike their previous battles, he felt as if they both felt what they would do before either of them could think it through, but he was complaining. We they broke apart, Amuro was breathless. With their foreheads still touched, Amuro glanced at chars eyes realizing char was just ask breathless with the addition of a tear streaking down his face. Amuro pulled away from char and reached up to brush away his tears.

"Amuro, I-"

"shh, I know, I 's okay, you're okay," Amuro softly said and rested his head on chars shoulder. pulled char into a hug. Char stiffen for a moment then gave in, being held for the first time in years. It was an odd, but welcome feeling for him. Char shifts, as to practically climb into Amuro's lap. Amuro welcomed the movement, wanting to be close, needing to be.

Amuro fluster suddenly, realizing he was hard. Char's movements brought an embarrassing the fact to Amuro's, and likely Char's attention. Amuro previously ,distracted by the shear depth of chars emotions, found himself blushing badly. Char didn't seem to care as he settled on Amuro lap and embraced him. Char's weight was comforting, solid. A reassurance that this is real, this is happening. Char learned forward and kissed Amuro, who barely had time to react but after a moment eagerly accepted. He was embarrassed, Amuro knew Char would feel his inexperience. But as Char deepen their kiss Amuro found himself not longer caring. Amuro wanted to be closer to Char, closer than close. He let out a little whimper and tugged on Char's ties, loosening it from his neck. Amuro's hands when up to the buttons on chars shirt. He hadn't expected this tonight, yet now that he thinks about it this is exact what he wanted. He was jealous of Char, not of the man himself but of the attention on him. Char was his.

Char broken their kiss, a newfound hungry in his eyes. Ever since he had first laid eyes an Amuro again after all these years, he had wanted to get close to him once more. He at first wanted to awaken the Amuro Ray he had known from the war from the ghostly shell that haunted the earthsphere, but in doing so he had awoken something new in both himself and Amuro. Amuro's features hadn't remianed unchanged, yet still unmistakable the Amuro who piloted Rx 78 2. However he had grown into an man, handsome at that, and Char wanted to have Amuro in the way that only he would be allowed to.

If not for the quiet hum of the Audhumla's engine, Char could almost imagine they were far away from this war, that they were just people. That he was simply Char, and Amuro was just Amuro, neither having to life up or perform to the expectations of others. That he could just shed the duties, this war- no his war. Allowing himself the to indulge in such thoughts, Char wishes that this could be his life, that he could away live in this little world with only Amuro and him. But for now, Amuro was his. Selfish as it is, Char had Amuro to himself. His rival, his partner, and now whatever they were. Their bond was beyond simple that of flesh. He circled around Amuro, as Amuro did for him. But tonight char was done circling, he needed Amuro here and now.

While Amuro was still fumbling with the last of his Char's, Char slithered his hands under Amuro's jacket. Amuro quickly took the hint and shrugged off his jacket and shirt. Char hadn't realized how toned Amuro was, it was a pleasant surprise. Char surged forward to capture Amuro's lips while also now pinning him to bed. Char ground against Amuro giving both of their arousal much needed attention.

Breaking their kiss, Char slide down off the bed and sat between amuro thighs, and resting his hand on Amuro's crotch. Pausing, Char glanced at Amuro and asked, "May I?" Amuro was too fluster to verbal respond but nodded quickly. Char pulled down Amuro trousers as Amuro kicked off his shoes. Char feeling playing, went to mouth Amuro obviously arousal through his boxers. Char held himself back from simply ripping Amuro's boxers off. While Amuro hadn't voiced it, Char knew in his heart that he would Amuro's first. He could be gentle and slow, he wanted to somehow show Amuro how much he meant to him.

Char pulled away, staring up at Amuro with those billent blues eyes leaving him breathless. "Do you trust me?" Char whispered.

"Yes- Char, of course i do"

"Lay back, let me make you feel good" Char said huskily, desire seeming into every aspect of him. "Wait here, lay back love." It had just slipped out on accident, but Char didn't regret his words at all and he could tell Amuro didn't either. Char turned and reached under his nightstand, producing a bottle of lube. Char turned back to Amuro who was looking nervous, but not the least bit regretful. "Amuro, you can tell me to stop anytime, okay?"

"I will, I promise," Char knew Amuro could not lie so he nodded and pulled Amuro boxers off. Char kissed Amuro's thighs as he warmed the lube in his hand. He quickly moved to take Amuro in his mouth, not being able to wait any longer.

"C-Char!"Amuro cried out, arching into Char. a steady stand of moans and whimpers cam from Amuro, clearly unfamiliar to such attention. It was wonderfully overwhelming, Amuro couldn't hold back his sounds or mind. He needed Char. "I-I've never done something like this before, I mean you're my f-first Char. Um first of anything really. I've never really wanted someone like you- like this before. You're just so distinct Char I can feel myself being pulled towards you always seeming finding my way back to you. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't find you again I felt so lost. A-and seeing you again I-I felt things I hadn't before, I'm glad its you Char," Amuro babbled, not being able to filter himself. Little did he know Char treasured every word.

Char pulled off of Amuro and found his eyes glassy once again. How Amuro could be so open he would never know but Char wouldn't trade it for anything. "Tell me if I hurt you," Char said voice now a little hoarse. Lube now warm on his fingers he started to press into Amuro and take him in his mouth once more. He moved slowly, he didn't want to harm his lover. Amuro's jaw clenched slightly at first but he made no move to stop Char , and tried to relax for Char. He let out little whimpers as Char worked his way further into him, already feeling pleasure built up deep in his stomach. Char worked his way in and out of Amuro as he continues to suck on him, both simulations leading Amuro to hump into Char. Amuro moans got more urgent and char discovered what he was looking for in Amuro, and while Char couldn't make out Amuro's slured words he knew what he ment. He touch Amuro as deep into his throat as he could and thrusted his fingers hard against his prostate, causing Amuro to shout out as he spilled in Char's throat. Char pulled off of Amuro went he felt him go soft in his mouth and nuzzled his thighs. As Char because to slowly pull out his fingers as to not hurt Amuro, he heard Amuro pant out "Don't stop."

"Shh, Amuro its okay, lets just-"

"No Char please I want you in me," Amuro desperately interrupted. 'I-I want to feel you, be close to you." Char hummed in response, and he continued to finger Amuro open. He wasn't quite prepared for Char yet, and Char was more than willing to take his time. By the time Char deemed Amuro ready, he had grown hard again and by his moans more than eager.

After slowly pulling out of Amuro char stood up and quickly removed the rest of his clothes. He was painfully aroused, having neglected himself for so long. He lined himself up with Amuro and pushed in, letting out a low groan. Amuro immediately wrapped his arms around char and pulled him down forward on top of him, desperately wanting the contact. Once fully seated Char gave a few shallow thrust, loving the whimpers Amuro gave in response. He soon settled into a settle but slow rhythm. It was overwhelming being inside of Amuro, both physically and mentally. It felt as if they had reached out and gasped each other now connected. It was quickly becoming too much for Char- Amuro was sweet, so open he just couldn't comprehend how such a man was his. Char felt himself beginning to tear up again. He had cried tonight more than he had in years.

"Amuro, Amuro,"Char gasped out, "I'm close. I'm sorry i can't last for long." Amuro

"I know, I'm the same," Amuro whinned

"Do you want to-"

"No! No please don't stop come inside you're all i want!" They both were tearing up now, Char feverishly kissed Amuro and reached down to stroke him. He moaned and spilled inside him, Amuro coming soon after. Panting they gazed into each other's eyes once again. There was so much to say yet there was no need for words between them. Char slowly pulled out of Amuro and collapsed beside him, both of them quickly embarrassing their lover. The room the silent besides their pants for a few minutes as both men tried to gather himself.

"Was I okay?" Amuro asked, insecurity laced in his eyes.

Char couldn't help but chuckle. He reached up and brushes stray hairs off of Amuro's face. Yes. you were amazing," Char spoke with such sincerely, Amuro couldn't doubt him. "I have to say, I hadn't pegged the war hero to have stayed a virgin for so long Char teased.

" you knew!" Amuro said, stattled

"you told me remember?

"Ah i suppose i did," Amuro said, blushing at remember how he had let since mouth run and wondering at what else he said. "Did you mean everything you said"

"Every word of it"

"Char I-"

"Stay, please," Char said, voice suddenly desperate. He previous playful tone was completely gone. "Just for tonight. I won't mention what happened between us just please don't leave yet."

"I, Char what are you talking about? I don't want to leave. Wait what do you mean by that? D-Do you not want to…" Amuro trailed off suddenly feeling foolish, feeling as if he had projected his own wants onto Char.

"No, no- Amuro I want you, I want us," Char quickly responded. "I had just assumed you won't. I've just never felt so connected to someone before." Char pulled Amuro closer, and nuzzled into his neck. "I think I love you, Amuro."

Amuro smiled,"I know, Casval. I love you too." Char felt his heart clutch, for the first time in years he felt at home. He would do anything to hold onto this feeling.


End file.
